American Ultra (2015)
“I am spooky quiet.” *= terrible pot puns/references meant to make a dreary review on a lousy film a little more bearable. Enjoy. Let’s just get this out there to start; American […]
Tag Archives: Action
Hitman: Agent 47 (2015)
“The history of man is defined by war.” It sure as hell is hard to have fun during an action movie when the film itself is shackled to the deepest […]
The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
“Not very good at this whole subtlety thing, are you?” The shortest way I could think to describe The Man from U.N.C.L.E. was the phrase “aggressively harmless.” Which, if you couldn’t tell, […]
Fantastic Four (2015)
“You’ve opened a door you don’t know how to close. You don’t know anything about what’s coming.” Was that a sigh of relief or a sigh of disbelief I let […]
Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation (2015)
“This may be our last mission. Let’s make it count.” Reading the title for this movie, which should’ve just been a clean and neat Mission Impossible 5, is enough to induce a headache. […]
Southpaw (2015)
“Don’t get hit too much.” Boxing, along with baseball, is a sport that translates well to the screen. It’s been done countless times. And while baseball is a team sport, […]
Pixels (2015)
“Let the nerds take over.” Pixels is the kind of movie that, for the sake of moviegoers everywhere, needs to be hated. The Adam Sandler brand needs to become as uncool […]
Ant-Man (2015)
“One question… Is it too late to change the name?” At the end of Ant-Man, after the two post-credit scenes finish, we get a proclamation as awkward as the rest of the […]
Slow West (2015)
“Silly boy.” Slow West is a nearly impossible film to define, to pin down what it is and what it isn’t. The sheer number of outside influences overwhelm the senses. It […]
Terminator Genisys (2015)
“I’m old, not obsolete.” Multiple times over the course of Terminator Genisys, the terminator reprised by Arnold Schwarzenegger uses the word “theoretical.” That, theoretically, their plan to stop doomsday could actually work. […]
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