Ready or Not (2019)
“It’s just a weird family ritual.” Class warfare, outdated family traditions, and holy matrimony literally duke it out in Ready or Not, a bloody fun and uneven attempt at satire […]
Category Archives: Mystery
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)
“You let a ghost story get into your heads.” It’s hard to not appreciate Alvin Schwartz’s collection of short horror stories tailored to terrify school kids checking out library books […]
Luz (2019)
“If you tell her it smells like fish, she smells like fish.” It’s strange. I’ve literally sat through Luz’s dense 70 minutes three times. Twice concurrently and once more as […]
Disturbia (2007)
“He can feel us watching.” It’s an interesting choice for a thriller to open up in a state of calm, giving us a sense of stability before everything goes topsy-turvy. Disturbia […]
Midsommar (2019)
“It’s like another world.” Midsommar opens with a shot which summarizes the entire story in a four-paneled tableaux of Pagan paintings. In a modern sense, it’s like vague GPS directions […]
Murder Mystery (2019)
“I know all the answers, I just freeze under pressure.” Let me start by saying that Murder Mystery is, for the most part, as run-of-the-mill as its factory-farmed, plug and play […]
The Curse of La Llorona (2019)
“She wants us to be hers.” Incoherent, innocuous, and borderline lifeless, The Curse of La Llorona takes a classic folk tale and dooms it to hell with talented, lost actors trying […]
Pet Sematary (2019)
“It doesn’t feel right.” A not-so-gentle reminder that I’ll definitely never be a cat person, nor a fan of run-of-the-mill horror flicks, Pet Sematary updates the 1989 adaptation of Stephen […]
The Highwaymen (2019)
“Maybe it ain’t in us no more.” Overlong in a way that’s neither gripping or particularly entertaining, The Highwaymen exudes a clear and competent skill set in a story that’s […]
Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)
“All art is dangerous.” One of the very first scenes in Velvet Buzzsaw – a cinematic approach to Juvelian satire with playfully inventive savagery and a generous splash of acerbic […]
