The Dark Tower (2017)
“So, when’s the Apocalypse coming?” Let me be as clear as I can: The Dark Tower is, I can only assume since I haven’t read the novels, a despicable adaptation of the […]
Category Archives: Fantasy
A Ghost Story (2017)
“Is there something there?” Contrary to the celebratory nature of work promotions and Olympic podium ceremonies and battlefield war cries, life isn’t a game any one us ever actually wins. […]
The Mummy (2017)
“This is not a tomb…it’s a prison.” In the screengrab below, the wholly unlikable douche Nick Morton (Tom Cruise) resigns to a death sentence and pulls the parachute on his […]
Wonder Woman (2017)
“I am not what you thought I was.” Wonder Woman seems to have been conceived through a simple yet radical notion for the film industry; what if you made a gigantic […]
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)
“Filthy pirate.” Pirates of the Caribbean has become what I’d like to label a tee-ball franchise. The hits are easy and don’t sail very far even with such below average hand-eye coordination, […]
Beauty and the Beast (2017)
“Who could ever learn to love a beast?” There’s a reason that the 1991 Disney film was the only animated movie ever nominated for Best Picture up until the category […]
Kong: Skull Island (2017)
“That was an unconventional encounter.” In more ways than one, Kong: Skull Island serves as a direct counterpoint to 2014’s dark and grounded Godzilla. This is an extremely loud film, both in its levels […]
The Great Wall (2017)
“At least here we have a common goal.” During most of the press junkets for this film, Matt Damon was posed a similar question time and time again, always revolving […]
Girl Asleep (2016)
“Don’t spoil it now by speaking.” If you were to huff and puff away at the hallucinogenic pipe of Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland and ash the embers inside the awkward teenage […]
A Monster Calls (2016)
“It begins like so many stories.” Somewhere inside A Monster Calls lives one of the most complex stories of the year, a love letter to mothers and an embodied depiction of coping mechanisms. But […]
