“I guess we just missed our moment.”
Where the the hell do I start? I’d naturally say at the beginning, but Love Wedding Repeat doesn’t really have a proper open, so maybe it’s better to just dive right into this sham of a movie tossing around in a pigsty of a plot. To set the scene, it’s best to know that the titular wedding takes place in what looks to be a French countryside estate, with the stressed bride Hayley (Eleanor Tomlinson) begging her brother Jack (Sam Claflin) to ensure that her special day goes as smoothly as possible. It makes sense that Love Wedding Repeat should take place there; its bumpy, cobbled together nature certainly resembles the roads.
Pretty much every stock character you can imagine squeezes their way into this messy ensemble piece. Jack deals with his ex Amanda (Freida Pinto) as she berates her insecure new boyfriend Chaz (Allan Mustafa). There’s Bryan (Joel Fry), the bride’s Maid of Honor, who somehow doesn’t know he has to give a speech, all while shutting out Rebecca (Aisling Bea), a horny woman with hungry eyes for him. As if things couldn’t get any more convoluted, Jack has to juggle his time between the coked up Marc (Jack Farthing) who wants to speak now than forever hold his peace, as well as his long-gestating affection for the gorgeous American friend Dina (Olivia Munn), who’s chased around by the cocksure, shapeless loser Sidney (Tim Key). They make for one untamed, altogether unappealing menagerie.
Love Wedding Repeat has a handsome location, and it looks like the type of film that’d be fun to work on no matter the final outcome. That’s a good thing too, because writer / director Dean Craig’s picture is a petty crime against what cinema can and should be, once again sticking to his now detritus formula from Death at a Funeral without adding any new zing or pizzazz. The taxidermy excuses for characters have no real arc, forced plot takes the place of nuanced storytelling, and the entire film revolves around a time-bending conceit that’s never fleshed out. The whole thing is a sham.
Aspiring towards yet hopelessly failing to achieve the cheeky tone of a Richard Curtis film, Love Wedding Repeat has the smug audacity to bill itself as a movie where the same situation – in this case, a match of musical chairs involving misplaced sleeping droplets – unfold one after another. Think Groundhog Day without any of the personal growth. But we don’t even get that bare minimum. In reality, Love Wedding Repeat shows two variations of the same wedding day and uses its lazy tableside service masquerading as a montage to fill in the gaps. It’s all possible because the brash narrator, hilariously hailed as The Oracle (Penny Ryder), seems to fancy hosting a grossly lame game of duck duck goose. Love Wedding Repeat is a TV-MA rated Lifetime movie at its core, one of 2020’s worst scripted films, and above all else, an appalling waste of time and talent. It’s shocking that a movie featuring this many beautiful faces in such a scenic setting can turn out to be so damn grotesque.
“How did you mess this up?”
Rating: 0.5 out of 5