“I just want someone to tell me what to do.”

There’s nowhere for Linda (Rose Byrne, destine for an Oscar nomination) to turn in If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, one of the most overwhelming and exhausting films of the year. She’s physically fatigued but usually manages to pull herself together at work for her therapy clients, and at home she’s never off the clock caring for her daughter, especially now while her husband is off on a 6-week work trip. We only hear him over the phone, berating Linda for her parenting techniques (or lack thereof) and threatening to come home early. We never see her daughter’s face, only hearing her screeching voice and panicked fits of anxiety. Linda’s whole existence is burdensome. She’s tired.

This therapist has her own therapist (Conan O’Brien), and he’s about done with her as a client. Linda doesn’t really pay attention to her own patients either; for the most part their problems are meaningless, with one young man simply being horny for Linda. The movie honestly kind of paints people who go to therapy in an unflattering light. On another note, setting things in motion is a bursting water pipe in her apartment, ripping a hole in the bedroom ceiling and forcing Linda to move herself and her ill child into a stuffy motel room. The daughter has issues when it comes to eating, instead being fed through a stomach tube because textures freak her out, and adding to the anxiety are constant check ups reminding Linda that her little girl is behind on what a healthy weight should be. Of course the husband continues to call and tell her what she’s doing wrong.

Linda has a patient with obvious mental health issues, befriends a man named James (A$AP Rocky) at the motel who can get her drugs off the dark web. She spends most evenings drinking cheap wine and eating junk food outside the room, simply needing a break from the sound of the machine her daughter is hooked up to and trying to escape her own head through easy dopamine fixes. Because of writer/director Mary Bronstein’s claustrophobic camera choices and the unsettling sound design, we take a seat right next to Linda on the journey through a nervous breakdown, making the film painfully real and unnerving. It reminded me of Lynn Ramsay’s 2011 picture We Need to Talk About Kevin.

I had the opportunity to screen the movie at home, and even after watching the final act two times, I’m still not sure what to make of it. Is it all a dream? Is Linda so disassociated from reality that her perception is skewed? I couldn’t tell you for sure. More often than not I’d suggest the ambiguity elevates the picture by forcing the audience to really chew on the material. But the uncertainty of it all makes for a riveting journey without much definite resolution. Maybe one day I’ll pop it on again and the answer will punch me in the face. I doubt I’ll ever be able to sit through this one again though, and so I’ll just accept the parts I do understand. That the film is a portrait of inadequacy, frustration, and that women rarely get the benefit of the doubt. If I Had Legs I’d kick You leaves little bruises but never the impact I went in expecting.

“Perception is reality.”

Rating: 3.5 out of 5