“Comedy’s all about timing, Har’.”

It’s well known among my close circle of friends that I view Grown Ups 2 as one of the worst movies ever made. It’s truly awful. Dumb and Dumber To, the long awaited sequel, is one of the most unfunny, mean-spirited, and wholly terrible movies I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. Grown Ups 2 is absolutely horrendous. Give me an option, and I’ll pick that over this every single time. I implore you, do not pay to see this movie. I’ll admit my theater laughed quite a bit, but there was always a lingering hesitance about it all, as if nobody knew what to do or how to react. It robs you of your hard earned money and marks career lows for every person involved. “Do not see Dumb and Dumber To” could have been one of the ten commandments chiseled onto the tablets.

Lloyd (Jim Carrey) pulls a twenty year long gag on Harry, feigning mental illness and throwing away what he calls the best years of his life, just to get a quick laugh from his pal Harry (Jeff Daniels). The two morons get back to their lives as friends and roommates, and after Harry dishes out the news he’s in need of a kidney, they seek out his long lost daughter. Fraida Feltcher (Kathleen Turner), from Cranston, tells them where she lives, and wanting to see her daughter allows the pair to track her down.

There’s more to this ill-conceived plot, including genius scientist Dr. Pinchelow (Steve Tom), his ditzy adopted daughter Penny (Rachel Melvin), and the scheming pair Adele (Laurie Holden) and Travis (Rob Riggle, a bad actor who somehow keeps getting roles) as a straight ripoff of the crooks in Tommy Boy. There is a difference between repurposing jokes and storylines and being complete photocopys. If you’ve seen the first one, which I think everyone has, you’ve already seen this. Not for a second does it try to create its own identity or pave its own path.

The only bright spot is Carrey, who is still one of the best physical comedians alive despite being in his fifties. Even in his worst movies, of which this is definitely the nadir, he’s able to crack you up. As for Daniels, this is a deplorable performance from an otherwise outstanding actor. The problem is how hard he’s so obviously trying, and for whatever reason he gives Harry a severe underbite and lisp absent from the first film. He’s the one who tried so hard to get a sequel made in the first place, so that makes it even more disappointing that he’s so awful this time around.

You have to wonder what has happened in the lives of the Farrelly brothers, Bobby and Peter, to become such incompetent filmmakers. Seriously, I have seen student films that are better than this. Their career has taken a Benjamin Button course, starting out with truly genius comedy classics and quickly transforming into the most childish writers/directors making movies today. And even just the look of their films, the actual picture, has declined into commercial gloss and unnecessarily heavy saturation. They’re clueless.

The script is horrendous to every single degree. Harry was adopted by Asian parents, so let’s throw stereotypical racist jokes at them. Then it’s a non-stop pageant of sexism. They laugh at the idea of female doctors. Lloyd calls a vagina the “o-snatch-ural.” For no reason, not that there would be a justifiable one, they yell at a woman “show us your tits!” Harry even suggests telling his daughter dick jokes to break the ice when they first meet. As if all of that wasn’t enough, there is a scene where Harry is asked his best memory. It’s a flashback of him as a teenager, putting peanut butter on his penis to have his dog lick it off. The Farrelly brothers’ attempt to make us laugh at bestiality nearly made me leave the theater. And I would have if I didn’t intend on writing a review.

Dumb and Dumber works on every level because Harry and Lloyd are just stupid kids in the bodies of men. Their intentions, while misguided, are never entirely malicious unless it’s to the other person. They don’t mean to kill a man. They don’t force a cop to drink urine. They don’t consciously get involved with a kidnapping. It’s all coincidence. Harry and Lloyd have gotten older, and with age they’ve become dirty, creepy men. At one point Lloyd took the words right of my mouth and says the below quote to Harry. Dumb and Dumber To literally could not have been any worse.

“So this is what rock bottom feels like.”

Rating: 0 out of 5